"I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff." Jon Katz
Life is busy, nothing new there. Whether it’s mom life, work life or trying to juggle all of the crazy that this thing called life throws at us, we all have some kind of busy. My busy schedule will likely look different to the next, but I bet both would be ready to call it quits once the kids are in bed and the house is quiet. However, did you know that keeping a social life and friendship circle alive can actually be crucial to our health and well-being? Given that International Friendship Day is upon us AND studies show that friendships can help you cope with stress better, it felt like the perfect time to discuss the importance of friendships.
Importance of Sisterhood
01. Support through transitions.
Whether you’re changing jobs, having a child, getting married, moving house, or packing your bags and hightailing it across the big blue ocean (hand raised) – it’s crucial to have women who you can call on for support. I can’t count the number of times I’ve cried on a friend’s shoulder, laughed for hours, rang in the wee hours of the night, or took a drive around town just to get out and get something off of my chest. Involve people in your sisterhood that will know when to listen and when to speak, true friends are rare but those that ‘get it’ will know exactly how to support and when. You’ll also find that those in your sisterhood change as you walk through different stages of life, and that’s okay too. Your circle isn’t replaced, it’s just added to. There’s room for more than one bestie.
02. Sounding board
Some women in your sisterhood will have the capacity to mentor. This is vital. You know that dream you’re praying to fruition? A mentor will be able to help turn those dreams into an action plan. Dreaming only gets you so far and then it’s up to you to do something. Find a sister who will be a sounding board for all of your genius ideas and guide you on how to turn them into a reality. Hang on to her!
When society is saying competition, they’re saying community. It’s important in the climate we live in to have cheerleaders who can rally behind you and spur you forward. When the naysayers are telling you, you can’t, these girls are saying ‘go and conquer’! A true sister will know, love + honour herself and then be able to fully love, honour and confidently empower you. …And you know what can happen when a gathering of women come together, walls better watch themselves because they’ll come tumbling down
Good news – those in your squad don’t all have to be from the same clique. In fact, it’s a good idea if they’re not. Diversity within your friendship circle means that you’ll have different friends playing different roles and speaking from different perspectives. Celebrate this. One might add the dose of fun that you need to breath life back into your mundane and another might be the one to lovingly lead you back to your purpose, both bring a different spice yet are equally as important.
There’s one thing I do know for sure, adult friendships are down right hard. I took for granted those precious friends that I have because we schooled together, had countless numbers of sleepovers and walked through so many stages of life together. Then I moved and, as crazy as it sounds, I had to learn to foster friendships again. I started from scratch. It’s not that the love + compassion was lacking but, it was more that the history was absent. We hadn’t walked a journey together, they didn’t know my background and I didn’t know theirs. Years were missing and only time can begin to bridge that gap. I’ve come to discover that friendships take patience, you can’t make a best friend overnight. You’ve got to build trust and invest. It’s not as convenient as striking up a conversation on the playground and voila you’ve got a friend for life. We’ve got to wade the waters and be prayerfully cautious about who we let in.
If you don’t have a sisterhood it’s not too late to start. Pray that God sends people into your life that you can consider a close part of your friendship circle. Focus on investing in those friends that you do have and before you know it you’ll look back with a thankful heart at how blessed you’ve been by a great group of friends, ‘sistas’.
So before plopping on the couch and bingeing the next season of Virgin River, why not check-in with a gal pal. Better yet, send them some encouragement.
And always remind yourself to try to be the friend that you desire to have.